Blog Hugs, or "Blugs!"

Mama Christina from Diary of a Mom gave me a bloggy award! I am so flattered as it's my first!
The rules are:
One: Tell us about a memorable hug you’ve had. It can be a person, pet, whatever…
Two: “Hug” at least one other blogger or as many as you like.


Part One:

Wow, this is very hard for me. As many people know, I'm not a hugger. I'm not touchy-feely or lovey-dovey, and I have to remind myself to give physical affection, even to Pappa Starbucks. He, however, is very very much a hugger and is always asking for them and so is Little Berry. I think this will be a good exercise for me to write about hugging though since I've been trying to work giving them more....eagerly?
On my 20th birthday, Pappa Starbucks and I were meeting for breakfast. We were in college, we knew each other fairly well but were not involved. He was gushy-mushy-lovey-dovey-always-grinning around me and I knew he liked me a lot. One of the reasons I was at that point hesitating to date him was actually because of how exuberantly affectionate he was.
I got up that morning, showered and dressed in my favorite button down plaid shirt that my best friend always picked on me for wearing (good naturedly of course) and fixed a bowl of very crunchy granola to take to breakfast even though we were meeting in front of chic-fil-a (he's vegetarian and I didn't eat meat in front of him for a very long time) so I wouldn't be chowing down on a chicken biscuit while he ate his frosted flakes or oatmeal.
It was a chilly and frosty-aired morning, and I walked from my dorm to the cafeteria to meet this silly guy- trying to make sure my hair wasn't all frizzy from the sweater I was wearing, and generally wanting to look good but not have anyone know I was TRYING. It was, after all, my BIRTHDAY.
He met me inside the cafeteria with a cheerful grin and leaned in to hug me- "Happy Birthday!" he said. He smelled like Tide and toothpaste and I realized I had flutters- genuine nervous butterfly flutters in my stomach at that moment, and I knew we'd be together for a long long time.
And we've been together ever since!
Part Two:
I hug Ittybits and Pieces, The Milk Maid, Erin, Milk Donor Mama, and last but never least, my Friend Monica!

My city garden

We live in the city. In a cramped two-bedroom apartment with no yard. I wish it were bigger, but it's not, and that's not stopping me. I have- garlic, two tomatoes, a yellow squash, a spearmint, four strawberry plants and a cantelope, rhubarb, a pot of wildflowers, ten basil plants started from seed) and a few soapnut sprouts. I don't have fancy pots and I may have *pilfered* my soil- but I've got what I can.
I also have a clothesline for my clothdiapers and a kiddie pool for little berry all in the same space. Because some things, I cannot compromise for. As a side note- if I'd planned better, I would have completely planted all of these in a deeper kiddie pool. They're $15 (the biggest ones, which is twice as deep as ours) and perfect for the plants I have.

Things I'd like to have but don't, and can make do without- cucumber, bell peppers, and watermelon.
What do you just have to have no matter what? What are you willing to be cramped to hold on to, or to give up other things for?

Solo Parenting

Welcome to the April Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting advice!

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month we're writing letters to ask our readers for help with a current parenting issue. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

***

This summer I will be a single parent for 6weeks. Little berry's pappa will be training to be the next Teach For America teacher in a "gruelling six week crash course called institute" that will put him in rural Mississippi, some 12hours away from baby and me. I'm a fairly confident mamma, normally, and I do so love the job, but this...these six weeks?
They have me wrapped up on nerves studded on porcupine quills of terror.

I will need to work because he won't be, which I haven't officially done since my Little berry was born. If you've been here a while, you know I was a full time university student for three semesters after she arrived (and I was back to school full-time just 12 days post partum).

So I need advice. How do single parents handle all the responsibilities of doing things alone? What's the hardest part? What kind of job should I look for where I can be with Little berry (because child care would just eat up the money I made) and still earn rent? How do I honor my parenting philosophies without support?

Any tips or tricks? Also I would love to hear advice on how to I deal with her missing her pappa (she will be 2) for six weeks (and work and live by myself) in the city all at once? Maybe you're a single Mom or were raised by just your dad, maybe you're an army wife or your husband travels a lot...I bet you've got something brilliant to say. Please share with me your advice.

Mammapie

***

Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be updated by the end of the day April 13 with all the carnival links.)

• Replace hitting with…? — Acacia at Be Present Mama is at a loss on how to handle her three year old's hitting.
• Two Questions — Alexandra at Breastfeeding Momma would like some ideas on how to strengthen her bond with her 8-month-old daughter; she's also looking for input on an emotional topic: vaccines.
• Balancing Needs When Baby Trumps Mama — Alison at BluebirdMama wonders how her child's need for noise and energy balances out against her need for quiet and space. (@childbearing )
• The McDilemma — Annie at PhD in Parenting is on the arches of a McDilemma. (@phdinparenting)
• Where is the mutually agreeable solution? When parenting calls for blood draws — Arwyn at Raising My Boychick has a child who needs regular blood tests that are torment for him. How does a parent honor a child when his health is on the line? (@RaisingBoychick)
• When To Wait To Nurse — Cave Mother wonders what age toddlers can be asked to wait to nurse.
• I don't love you Mama! — CurlyMonkey wonders what to do with her daughter's intense feelings. (@curlymonkey_)
• Help a Mama Out — Danielle at Born.in.Japan isn't getting much sleep with her cosleeping, night nursing, cranky little guy and hopes you can help with some suggestions for shuteye. (@borninjp)
• Dear Abby: My daughter really misses her Daddy — Darcel at The Mahogany Way needs to know how to help her daddy's girl get the connection with her father she needs — and not feel left out in the process. (@MahoganyWayMama)
• What's Going on at School? — Deb at Science@home is in a quandary: how can she find out what really goes on at school without stepping on the teacher's toes? (@ScienceMum)
• April Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting Advice — Dionna at Code Name: Mama wants to find volunteer work that includes her toddler. (@CodeNameMama)
• How do you deal? — Erin at Beatnik Momma does not want to engage in "mommy wars." She'd like your input on how (and how much) to discuss her natural parenting choices with curious friends and family who parent differently. (@babybeatnik)
• Dear Abby — The Grumbles at Grumbles and Grunts gave her son a banana...and no solid food since. What's the next step in baby-led weaning? (@thegrumbles)
• Excuse me, I have a poop question — Jessica at This is Worthwhile has a question for you about toddler tinkling. (@tisworthwhile)
• The Half Empty Nest Syndrome: What to do when Momma gets replaced by a cow? — Joni Rae at Kitchen Witch Momma is suffering from "half-empty nest syndrome": what do you do when your babies start growing up? (@kitchenwitch)
• Peer Pressure — Kate at Momopoly worries what message her daughter's new friend is sending — but how to break up such an infatuation? (@Momopoly)
• When I Fall Down — Katherine at Momioso.com needs your wisdom on how to be more gentle and at peace with herself. (@naturalparent)
• A question of sleep and sanity — KeepingMumSane needs your toddler cosleeping advice in order to, well, keep mum sane! (@keepingmumsane)

• April Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting advice — Lauren at Hobo Mama needs a chiropractor … or help getting her 36 lb toddler to walk up the stairs. (@Hobo_Mama)
• Driver's Ed for Mommies — Maman A Droit is a self-confessed terrible driver and is scared to drive with her baby in the car.
• Solo Parenting — Mammapie at Downside Up and Outside In needs tips for being a single working mother while her partner's away. (@mammapie)
• Itsy Bitsy Biter — Mamapoekie at Authentic Parenting needs your advice about her daughter, otherwise known as the pitbull.
• How Can I Avoid Beauty Obsession? — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! is at a loss ever since her tomboys turned into wannabe princesses. (@bfmom)
• Seeking Stability in Chaos — Michelle at Seeking Mother is in a heart-wrenching position. She needs your input on how to make a toddler feel secure during a time of transition, the illness of a parent, and multiple (new) caregivers. (@Seekingmother)
• Mama, That's Too, Too Boring! — Michelle at The Parent Vortex started out asking how to encourage her preschooler to get dressed — and four days later, she began to without prompting! (@TheParentVortex)
• Dear Lovey Hart, I am Desperate. — Mommy Soup from Cream of Mommy Soup has several questions for you, from how you play favorites when no one's your favorite to how to tell off strangers curious about the ample size of your family. (@mommysoup)
• Diaper Duty Dilemma — Paige at Baby Dust Diaries has a simple request: talk to her about cloth! (@babydust)
• What Do You Need My Son — pchanner at A Mom's Fresh Start wishes her calm four-month-old hadn't turned into an inquisitive and dramatic six-month-old. How do you handle changes in baby's personality? (@pchanner)
• Dear Natural Parenting Community — Sarah at OneStarryNight wants to know how to respond to criticism from family and friends over breastfeeding. (@starrymom)
• Natural Parenting Carnival — Help — Sarah at Consider Eden feels like either her to-do list or her parenting is suffering, because she can't do both! (@considereden)
• To potty learn or not to potty learn — that is the question — Sheryl at Little Snowflakes wants to know whether it's time to start potty training. (@sheryljesin)
• Seeking Patience — Starr at Earth Mama looks to the collective tribal wisdom of this community to learn how to teach patience to children.
• A Dirty Girl Comes Clean — Tashmica at Mother Flippin' is struggling. How do parents deal with their inability to keep their children protected from danger? (@Mother_Flippin)
• Uli and the Pussy Cats — Thomasin at Propson Palingenesis has a toddler who likes to put kitties in headlocks and ride them like horsies. How best to separate the little beasties?
• Perceptions of Discipline — Zoey at Good Goog doesn't use conventional discipline with her child — and doesn't know how to respond around people who do. (@zoeyspeak)

raising a wild child

We love the outdoors. We don't have a lot of wild place to explore, but I want my Little berry to see that the world is beautiful. She notices the littlest things, a tiny bug, a bee on a leaf, a golden flower smashed underfoot. This week we played under the blossoming trees and built tiny houses for imaginary fairies, butterflies, snails.
I know she doesn't understand the concept of "imaginary," but she concentrates so hard helping. She fetches grasses and sticks with precision, plucks tiny violets and pebbles out of the way, waits for an ant to cross before stepping.
Here is where we started:
And when we finished, we had this tiny teepee of twigs:

capped with a lovely golden flower and a million brilliant rays of sun
Waiting to spin a little mystery into the everyday of some unsuspecting soul.

What have you taken the time to build with your child lately? Next time you're in the park, I challenge you to pause, find a small space, and make a fairy home (take pictures and share them with me if you do!)

I wish I were a different kind of thin

It had to happen eventually. Today, Little berry is twenty months and three days old (young) and I am worn thin. She.is.in.to.everything.
She found an old yogurt raisin in some cranny she'd hidden it in last week (oh let be honest, I don't know when she hid it) and stuck it in her diaper, then tried to dig it out. I noticed just in time that she had pooped...
She mocked me while I did crunches and half hearted yoga poses: "huff huff huff (giggle) ahuff huff (collapsing in giggles)" all while poking a Dora the explorer bubble wand in my belly button calling it a boobie. At least she didn't call me fat.
She unfolded all the towells and spilled a liter of sugar water I'd made so we could have lemonade tonight, tried to climb in the fireplace and turned her nose up at all her breakfast, tore up my favorite copy of DOMINO while I loaded the dishes and tried to let a bee in the back door while I vacuumed. I'm trying very hard to be patient but I think- and this is just an idea, that today might be best spent OUTSIDE where there is no simple syrup to spill, dishes to break, bees are already "in"...no yogurt raisins to find and hide in her diaper and at the very worse she will find some lost Easter eggs.
So tell me faithful readers, what do you do on those days that you wish you'd stayed in bed?








or to put it another way, when you feel like you have two left feet, which way do you go?

- mamma pie