Pappa Starbucks and I have been struggling lately. I have the enormous interview looming Thursday for a job I am, honestly, only applying to because he's insisting I have to take a job. I know the economy is in the toilet, but I really, really, REALLY can't process the emotions I have regarding leaving Cuppycake. And this job, well, if I get it and he gets it, we'll be OK financially. Well off, even. But if I don't get in, and he does (which he will), or I turn it down, we will struggle. I am not going to lie. We will have to be very, very frugal.
But I have sacrificed so much so far. And I do. not. want. to. leave. her.
Especially not at a daycare. It means, probably, sacrificing my breastfeeding. It means late hours working with students who don't get the help they need elsewhere. It means emotionally struggling to maintain my center of balance, and truly giving up on my relationship because I just resent him so.
He just told me I need to "take a beta blocker and deal with it."
I clearly need something way stronger than a beta blocker at this point.