Pappa Starbucks and I have been struggling lately. I have the enormous interview looming Thursday for a job I am, honestly, only applying to because he's insisting I have to take a job. I know the economy is in the toilet, but I really, really, REALLY can't process the emotions I have regarding leaving Cuppycake. And this job, well, if I get it and he gets it, we'll be OK financially. Well off, even. But if I don't get in, and he does (which he will), or I turn it down, we will struggle. I am not going to lie. We will have to be very, very frugal.
But I have sacrificed so much so far. And I do. not. want. to. leave. her.
Especially not at a daycare. It means, probably, sacrificing my breastfeeding. It means late hours working with students who don't get the help they need elsewhere. It means emotionally struggling to maintain my center of balance, and truly giving up on my relationship because I just resent him so.
He just told me I need to "take a beta blocker and deal with it."
I clearly need something way stronger than a beta blocker at this point.


  1. Really?? A BETA BLOCKER? YUM.

  2. Hi,
    First of all, I'll keep my fingers crossed that the outcome of your interview will turn out to be good news, whether that good news is getting the job or not getting the job.

    Secondly, if the interview is for what I think it is and you get in and decide to go for it, you need a serious support system in place to get you through Institute. It breaks a lot of people.(Roughly 10% of the people from my region who started in June didn't actually make it to the first day of school in August.)

    I spent the summer getting 3 to 4 hours of sleep on the weeknights, and I didn't have the added pressures of a family. I knew one person at my Institute who had an infant, and her husband spent the summer being a stay-at-home dad. I'm not sure how a couple who both joined the corps would be able to make things work. Day care likely wouldn't be sufficient for a program that requires you to be on a bus around six in the morning and includes various evening and weekend commitments. If you do decide to do this, it will take careful planning.


Spill it!