Missing

We all know what it's like to be busy, to be overwhelmed, to have more on our plate than we'd like. And sometimes it's not that we're busy, or too busy to do what needs to be done, it's just that we don't want to do what we need to. Oh, procrastination. The truth is, if I applied myself, I could accomplish a lot. A whole lot. I'm not what I would call a lazy person, but I am creatively motivated. By that, I mean I am highly motivated when it comes to things creative. Organizing the bookshelf thoroughly? Oh, I can do that. Baking bread? Absolutely! Folding the towels and patching Little Berry's pants where she wiped out too many times wore them out? Yes, yes! Sign me up. But when it comes to seeing that the bedroom isn't exactly in tip top shape or that the scum in our tub has began turning pink, well. I'm not the best at this. I look at it like this:
How long ago did I get on my hands and knees and scrub the bathroom/kitchen floor/ etc? And if the answer is more than a week ago I think
"well...I will clean it tomorrow."
And then the next day I actually DO follow through on those tasks and usually also end up doing way more than I *realized* needed doing. Of course. And then I get all huffy when Pappa Starbucks doesn't comment on how great everything looks, but that's another post.


What about you? How do you maintain a clean home?
(I'm talking to you, Nichole, Sharla, and Lynette!)
***And anyone else who might be following along here :)

Missing the mountains

This past one was a long, long week and I was tired the whole time, but now it's over and "Spring Break" is here. It's the first time we've had a holiday in a

long time that we didn't spend filling out job applications and preparing for interviews. Instead we're sitting at home, working some, thinking about how THIS IS IT and we're enjoying our LAST Spring break, EVER. We also feel a bit like frozen mummy's waiting to hear back about said jobs and are trying to flawlessly transition the little berry girl into cloth diapers
because (yay!) I finally won on that front.

And I, for one, am missing home.

 

Sweetheart,

Pappa Starbucks and I have been struggling lately. I have the enormous interview looming Thursday for a job I am, honestly, only applying to because he's insisting I have to take a job. I know the economy is in the toilet, but I really, really, REALLY can't process the emotions I have regarding leaving Cuppycake. And this job, well, if I get it and he gets it, we'll be OK financially. Well off, even. But if I don't get in, and he does (which he will), or I turn it down, we will struggle. I am not going to lie. We will have to be very, very frugal.
But I have sacrificed so much so far. And I do. not. want. to. leave. her.
Especially not at a daycare. It means, probably, sacrificing my breastfeeding. It means late hours working with students who don't get the help they need elsewhere. It means emotionally struggling to maintain my center of balance, and truly giving up on my relationship because I just resent him so.
He just told me I need to "take a beta blocker and deal with it."
I clearly need something way stronger than a beta blocker at this point.