8 months

Little Berry will be 8 months on the 4th of April. She crawls like a bandit, she's been pulling up for well over a month now, and she is the noisiest person here. It seems so sudden- perhaps because I've ranged from spending my time crazy-busy to suddenly wondering where we will be in two months. We've no idea what job Pappa Starbucks will get, much less accept. At least there are three in the works, so hopefully one of those will come through at this point. I know it's more than so many people have hope for right now, but it doesn't seem like much. Teach For America placed him on a waitlist, and we've heard many, many horror stories of people waiting months and months to only be told that there's nothing for them. He interviewed for a job in the state government, which oddly enough he may have a flying chance at getting because he's been there so long working, volunteering and interning, that everyone knows him. This is my favorite choice, his favorite choice- but we're not counting on it. The other job pays least of all and is only a one year contract. It's a good job, but not really what we had in mind and it would really do damage to our budget. Thankfully we have very few student loans because of our high amount of scholarships, and so those won't be draining us too much. I say that like they really won't be draining us- but they will. Just not too too terribly badly. Of course, this is before we've started paying them, too!
There is only about a month left for us in school, and as frightening as it is to graduate right now we will manage somehow. Our well-planned lease on this apartment is up on May 1st, and since we don't know where we're going to be, where he will be working- we can't move into another one, sign a new lease, etc. So we're forced to pour our savings into an unwise direction: staying in a hotel for about four weeks during exams and moving all of our earthly possessions into a storage unit.
It's going to be a very difficult ride for a while, and I am truly dreading the scary scenarios that may come our way, and am really starting to blame our timing.

We are...

I've been terribly, dreadfully sick all week. It started with the cold to end all colds, combined with one massive midterm covering 300 pages of poetry that we were supposed to know the title, author, and memorize a line from each of. It combined with a gigantic fight, a sick baby, and an ongoing case of thrush, as well as the news that Teach for America doesn't want to hire me at all. And Pappa Starbucks got waitlisted, because the district he chose (their HIGH NEEDS district this year--) doesn't have the money budget yet. There may, or may not, be room for him. We have a plan B, a very nice, appealing plan B for now. Unless that plan B turns into a nasty, ugly, awful mess, we may take it.
But I'm better now. Thanks for askin'. I know you waited here all week to see if I came to write, so I'd hate to disappoint you anymore, so here's what I want to know"
If you're in a long-term, committed relationship, at which point did you meet the extended family? We're heading to Wrightsville Beach to meet the Aunts, the Uncles, the Cousins, the Grandmother....this weekend. When my family is together, we're the quiet type. We sit and drink hot cocoa and eat dinner together, we play a board game or two or read a book out loud, but his family?
Well, I've been told they're Rip-roarin', crazy-talkin' and that it's going to be a madhouse. They all talk at once, he says. It's always a cacophony of arguing, joking, laughing, fun-time's having brothers and sisters.
Oh, boy. Little berry will LOVE it.

Is it worth it?

Because we are always mostly unorganized and often strapped for time, I have a desperately hard time keeping on top of the laundry around here. It gets pretty bad, and I am almost certain that one day soon I will come home and it will be pouring out the doors and I'll have to wade through it the moment I pull up.
Okay, it's not THAT bad. After all, I do an excellent job at keeping things clean, but it's the folding and putting away that gets be better of me. Actually, just the putting away part, because I love to fold clothes, and I am very systematic about it. I have a particular way to fold each and every piece of laundry, but it sometimes doesn't get put away. So we'll have piles and stacks and baskets of clean clothes and the dressers will be empty.
I could just say that I like to look at clean, folded laundry and leave it at that, but there's really more to it than this. It takes more energy to walk around putting clothing away than to leave it, stacked 'neatly.' This usually results in a mad dash to clean up living room with its stacks and baskets and piles of fresh smelling lovely clothes before guests arrive, which is VERY exhausting. But if someone were to see all that, what would they think of me? It surely couldn't be good.
Because I want to be a stay at home mom (and am not one yet) I feel like I need to perform really excellently now. I need to campaign for clean laundry and champion for fresh scented babies and make sure dinner is excellent, so that Pappa Starbucks will want me here, want me to stick around the home and be proud of what I do.
Problem is, I also have school and a baby who never gets full and ..even I am too smart to keep listing things here because it is a never ending list.
What I am getting to is this:
We're trying to transition to cloth diapers. It was/ is my idea. I want it desperately, and I can't pin my finger on exactly why. I know it is way more cost effective and environmentally friendly, etc. But I don't know why I want it SO BADLY. I think part of it is the absolute cuteness of a cloth diaper bum on my teeny girl, and the other part is it makes me feel like I am achieving something.
However, with these endless piles of laundry, they keep getting lost. This is frustrating because we're short on space anyway and I don't have room for a storage unit just for diapers. We didn't buy that many (we have 6 of the really good ones, 2 of another, not so great brand) and basically there are always some in the wash.
Am I biting off more than I, we, as a family, can chew?
It seems like this might be my 'Achilles' heel.'

We went to the beach

 

 

We took a day-trip to the ocean. It was Little Berry's first time seeing the big waves, and as you can see from the photos,

She wasn't that crazy about it.

As long as she was facing away, she was fine- but I think the wind was a little too much.
It was nice for us though. I always find a trip to the ocean soothing, even if it's only for a

grand total of about fifteen minutes. Seriously, it was too chilly by the time we got there to stay any longer.

    

This last photo is my favorite. I just love how sweet she is. When her gums don't hurt and she isn't stuck in a car-seat, that is.

What relaxes you when you're stressed out?

Missing the mountains

This past one was a long, long week and I was tired the whole time, but now it's over and "Spring Break" is here. It's the first time we've had a holiday in a

long time that we didn't spend filling out job applications and preparing for interviews. Instead we're sitting at home, working some, thinking about how THIS IS IT and we're enjoying our LAST Spring break, EVER. We also feel a bit like frozen mummy's waiting to hear back about said jobs and are trying to flawlessly transition the little berry girl into cloth diapers
because (yay!) I finally won on that front.

And I, for one, am missing home.