Am I dreaming?

Lately we have been considering different types of diapers for our trip to Europe in May. I can't imagine shopping for Diapers in London, Brussels, or Dublin, but Pappa Starbucks believes it would be the same as shopping here. We have tried out the Gdiapers this past week, and they've worked pretty well but they also cost a pretty penny. While we were at the store, however, we also picked up a tiny baby potty. She's not yet 7 months old, but I figured it couldn't hurt to go ahead and have it around. Wishful thinker that I am, I put her on it as soon as we got home. And you know what? She went. And again, and again, and again. We've only had two times since we brought it home that she soiled a diaper- once in the car, and once in her sleep.

I keep waiting for her to look me in the eye and say HAHA fooled ya!! Now I'm not potty training 'till I'm 7!

Why I hate hamsters

When I was in high school, I would make money by nannying, and working on a horse ranch. Coincidentally, the family who owned the horses lived right next to the family I nannied for, so at times I was doing both at once. The kids I nannied for were old enough to take care of themselves but not to be left alone for days. They needed help getting to school, picking up after themselves, fixing dinner, that sort of thing. The horse farm had 23 horses (7 in stalls, the rest were in pasture) and a herd of longhorn steer. Don't ask how many of those fella's there were because I kept away.

The family I nannied for usually hired me for extended periods while the parents were away on trips, so I would spend say four days with the kids getting them to school, fixing their lunches, taking them to sports games, that sort of thing. In the mornings I would get up super early and go over to the horse farm and feed, water all the animals, and then clean stalls and make sure everything was OK for the day. This was mostly while the lady who owned the animals was out of town as she liked to go to rodeo events in Texas every few weeks. Then I would go back to the kids' house, shower, fix breakfast and get them to school, after which I took myself to the community nursing home where I was doing clinical rotations for my CNA certification as part of a dual enrollment. After that, I went to school myself.

FYI, on the mornings that I didn't nanny beforehand, I went to school smelling like I'd cleaned up a barn. This was of course, very pleasant.

During one particularly long stay with the children and caring for the animals at the horse ranch, I took the girls out to eat for dinner one night. At this time, I drove an OLD one of these The previous owner was my youngest brother, who is notorious for being bad on cars. Anyway, the girls and I piled into my car and went to a local pizza place It's known for its buffet style (which in photos will always be shown filled to the brim) and for its breadsticks.

Unbeknownst to me, the middle girl had been given hamsters for her birthday present a few weeks before, and she snuck the little critter into her pocket before we left for dinner. This is the part of the story I will never understand. Her motivation could not have been anything but the 'cutsey' factor, but she clearly knew we were going to dinner. And yet.

I'm sure at this point in the story you think you know what happens, right?

Wrong.

About halfway to the restaurant, I felt something under my foot. As in the foot that was pressing the gas pedal and controlling the brake, because at this time I hadn't had a baby
and therefore could get my leg up there thought it was cool to drive with one foot propped up on the driver's seat. And one on the pedals. Imagine my surprise, then, when something MOVED under my foot. (This was akin to the time I felt a spider on me in the shower which is a really scary story I will save for some other time).

When I screamed, hit my breaks and pulled the car over the girls all began panicking. I thought at this point there was a wild (and therefore potentially rabid) squirrel, mouse, rat, or something else living in my car. I knew this was possible because months earlier, one had built a nest under my never opened hood and chewed almost all the way through my power steering belts, so they broke while I was going down the road.

During the chaos, I hear the middle girl start squealing. "Honey! Where is Honey! I can't find Honey!!! Where is she!!!" And immediately put two and two together. "You brought your Hamster? What on earth were you thinking?? We're going to DINNER. Not to the PET STORE. A HAMSTER has no business in a RESTAURANT!!!!"

Dinner was ruined. She cried the whole time, even though I called her parents and we talked about what had happened. Of course she was distraught. She had lost her new, beloved hamster and her parents would not buy her another one. She was miserable, thinking about how the critter had probably crawled out of the car and would never be seen again, to be eaten by some feral cat or die of starvation. I tried to reassure her by saying that Honey would probably be living near the restaurant, and eating all the leftovers that got tossed. She could even 'sort-of' visit Honey by coming to eat here.

I thought it was over, and I felt really terrible about the poor creature. I wanted to buy her another one, but as the weeks went by her parents continued to refuse to let me, on the grounds that her actions were irresponsible.

About a month later, I went out one morning and my car wouldn't start. I tried everything, and finally gave up, chalking it up to a dead battery or just an old, worn out car. We had it towed, and I dreaded the bills. I only had the car because my parents refused to drive me to school and insisted I have a car- the bills on it were ridiculous and I was wore out from working just to have it. They ran some scans and determined that it was an issue with the car's security system, that it had been triggered and therefore would not start as a safety mechanism.

They took the dashboard apart and lo and behold, in a tangle of chewed through wires found the cute little Honey. My bill from them read as follows:

Removed Dashboard. Found Hamster living there. Security trigger mechanism found. Replaced wires.

Total bill to completely replace my security system? Over $3000. And that is why I nominate Honey as the America's most expensive hamster.

 

 

 

A peculiar incident

Also known as aint life a $%#@!

A survey because I am still feeling like a warthog

What are your middle names?
Mine is Elizabeth. He doesn't have one. Therefore, our daughter has two middle names to make up for his mother's oversight in that department.

How long have you been together?
Almost three years. Three!

How long did you know each other before you started dating?
Mmmm...about six months, though he spent that six months asking me out almost daily. Weekly at least.

Who asked whom out?
He asked me. See above :)

How old are each of you?
I'm old, he's not AS old. Just kidding. We're both 23, there's a period of about 70 days though where I am older.

Whose siblings do you see the most?
His, definitely. She's 7 and lives about 15 minutes away so we babysit her rather regularly. Which is why I plan to move away (FAR!!)from here before she turns 14.

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
Definitely my desire to stay home with Little Berry instead of entering the job force. Yeah, I know. I'm a prick.

Did you go to the same school?
Still do. Met at one school, and together transferred to our current institution. In fact, if it weren't for a particular literature class that SOMEONE didn't want to take, we never would have met at all.

Are you from the same home town?
No. Way.
He doesn't count mine as a "town" but as ehm, "the STICKS." HE grew up in Ithaca New York. Oh yes, he's northerner.

Who is smarter?
Wellllllll...... you're a presumptuous little survey aren't ya! What makes you think either of us are smart?
I'd say that together we make an excellent team and alone we are just average, although our grades and achievements say differently at times.

Who is the most sensitive?
Mrm, next question!

Where do you eat out most as a couple?
Too many places! I prefer this AMAZING place called Lime and Basil on Franklin Street (yes, the Franklin Street) and he likes California Pizza Kitchen and The Cheesecake Factory.

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
I guess Maryland? But we got a travel scholarship that's paying for us to go to Ireland this spring. So does that count?


Who has the worst temper?
Meeeeeeee. Let's just say that hormones are taking the fall for a LOT these days.

Who does the cooking?
Both of us, but rarely together. He always cleans the kitchen before he starts cooking, this makes no sense to me and I do it after.

Who is the neat-freak?
Again,both. He's great at keeping papers organized. I can't stand if the clothes are folded wrong. And yes, there is a wrong way to fold a towel/tee shirt/ onesie. He insists that any other woman would be grateful for a man who even TRIED and to that I say "fine, but I don't see you with that other woman, so the sleeves go IN."

Who is more stubborn?
Pshaw. I can't even answer this because we. are. both. stubborn. to a fault.

Who hogs the bed?
Pappa Starbucks, and Little Berry. They both take up a lot more space than babies (and skinny people) should be allowed to take.

Who wakes up earlier?
Me. Gawd, I love mornings. He looooves the snooze button. In fact, he has never gotten up to the (first) buzz of the alarm clock since we have been together. Maybe the third.

Where was your first date?
Asheville....
He took me to Malaprops :) and it rained. All in one day.

Who is more jealous?
Hm, I dunno. I get very jealous of the energy his mother requires from him. He is definitely a Mamma's boy.

How long did it take to get serious?
It was serious from the get-go. Once I realized I liked him, I knew he was the one. But I should have gotten to know his mother better first. Did I already say that?

Who eats more?
I eat more FOOD. But he easily consumes more calories. Have you seen that man's starbuck's drink? HELLO. It's got more calories than a family in Cambodia consumes in a month.
((Triple (or quad, depending upon JUST how tired he is) Venti Breve Milk Black and White Mocha, WITH Whip)).

Who does the laundry?
Mmmmme. Except the whites, because I cannot pour bleach without spilling it. I kid you not.

Who's better with the computer?
Him. He's so smart it's disgusting, and he's always telling me to do this or that and makes sure my laptop is charged. Isn't that sweet?

Who drives when you are together?
HIM! But only 'cause I have to be ready at the little lady's demanding for entertainment and such. You'd be amazed, but I can nurse while she's in the car seat. Talk about convenient!

Sweetheart,

Pappa Starbucks and I have been struggling lately. I have the enormous interview looming Thursday for a job I am, honestly, only applying to because he's insisting I have to take a job. I know the economy is in the toilet, but I really, really, REALLY can't process the emotions I have regarding leaving Cuppycake. And this job, well, if I get it and he gets it, we'll be OK financially. Well off, even. But if I don't get in, and he does (which he will), or I turn it down, we will struggle. I am not going to lie. We will have to be very, very frugal.
But I have sacrificed so much so far. And I do. not. want. to. leave. her.
Especially not at a daycare. It means, probably, sacrificing my breastfeeding. It means late hours working with students who don't get the help they need elsewhere. It means emotionally struggling to maintain my center of balance, and truly giving up on my relationship because I just resent him so.
He just told me I need to "take a beta blocker and deal with it."
I clearly need something way stronger than a beta blocker at this point.