11/18/08
An open letter to my professor
Dear professor
This assignment really changed the way that I have understood this subject. I feel rather silly telling you this, but this is quite possibly the most ‘impactful’ project I have ever done.
That being said, it made me absolutely, completely, overwhelmingly angry. You can blame it on my hormones because it’s very likely that they contributed, but there is more to it than that. At the beginning of the project, I was truly excited. I chose a photo based on aesthetics really, because I saw a photo of a young woman holding a young child. I identified with her, I liked her even. I didn’t grapple with her station, I didn’t think “they’re all slaves, so it doesn’t matter”- I thought “this woman is beautiful! She is holding a little baby! She must have been happy!”
Ultimately, I am displeased with my project. I didn’t reach any grand conclusions, any ‘epiphanic’ realizations. I learned more than I have ever learned doing a single project before, but I felt that anything I learned, and any great research I came across was completely dimmed by the life of this woman.
I was wrong when I first looked at her. The life of this woman was likely anything but happy. The reason this woman looks so unhappy, sitting and holding a tiny white child is probably because her dignity was constantly stepped upon, and just holding another woman’s child will never be enough to erase that. No matter how pretty the baby is.
However: this project was good for me on many, many levels. I will never approach slavery the same way as I did before, as a time line. In my research, I read story after story of women who had to put a tiny white child before their own: and while it is good perhaps to put others before yourself, to sacrifice for the good of others, this should never extend into the realm of motherhood, which I believe is sacred.
I suppose the project changed the lens through which I view slavery: one of the first pieces of literature I read when I began researching told me that ‘domestic slaves were treated better than other slaves, and they had special privileges.’ So I thought I was on the track to learn about a sort of chasm within slavery that wasn’t really ‘slavery’- you know, where you get to sit and play with a baby all day, one that wasn’t brutal, and wasn’t an instrument of abuse.
I was surprised, then, when most of the rest of my research contradicted this, and I was faced with an image that contradicted that- and then I got angry. I want to reach back through the decades and rectify it. But I cannot, and I am left wondering if there was something in the water. “They must have ‘drunk the Kool-Aid’” I think.
It’s simple, easy to dismiss it that way. To assume that it is because there is something wrong with people that racism exists today, and that there was deeply something ‘wrong’ with people who owned slaves, who regularly beat their slaves to keep them “accustomed to being whipped.” It’s not this easily dismissed from my mind though, and the dh has been truly frustrated with me for the energy I’ve put into thinking about this. After all, I have three projects and two more paper due this week, and I’m always late to my classes because the baby nurses and nurses and nurses, and I can’t just bring her to class. But if I put this down now, and step away from it, I won’t ever be able to completely understand it. I must push through the uncomfortable things I’ve read and read some more.
I am still angry, but I am going to continue reading. I didn’t reach any understanding that I could neatly put away and say “now I understand it,” and I will probably always be uncomfortable with it, but because I feel like it is important, not just for me as a person, but for me as a mother, and a daughter/wife/sister, to challenge the way I feel about this.
I’m probably still wrong, but I wanted to thank you for this project. I am fairly certain my research revealed the same old ideas, and you will be unimpressed. But know that this changed my understanding, and I'm sitting here thinking "you set me up for this!"- Thank you.
This assignment really changed the way that I have understood this subject. I feel rather silly telling you this, but this is quite possibly the most ‘impactful’ project I have ever done.
That being said, it made me absolutely, completely, overwhelmingly angry. You can blame it on my hormones because it’s very likely that they contributed, but there is more to it than that. At the beginning of the project, I was truly excited. I chose a photo based on aesthetics really, because I saw a photo of a young woman holding a young child. I identified with her, I liked her even. I didn’t grapple with her station, I didn’t think “they’re all slaves, so it doesn’t matter”- I thought “this woman is beautiful! She is holding a little baby! She must have been happy!”
Ultimately, I am displeased with my project. I didn’t reach any grand conclusions, any ‘epiphanic’ realizations. I learned more than I have ever learned doing a single project before, but I felt that anything I learned, and any great research I came across was completely dimmed by the life of this woman.
I was wrong when I first looked at her. The life of this woman was likely anything but happy. The reason this woman looks so unhappy, sitting and holding a tiny white child is probably because her dignity was constantly stepped upon, and just holding another woman’s child will never be enough to erase that. No matter how pretty the baby is.
However: this project was good for me on many, many levels. I will never approach slavery the same way as I did before, as a time line. In my research, I read story after story of women who had to put a tiny white child before their own: and while it is good perhaps to put others before yourself, to sacrifice for the good of others, this should never extend into the realm of motherhood, which I believe is sacred.
I suppose the project changed the lens through which I view slavery: one of the first pieces of literature I read when I began researching told me that ‘domestic slaves were treated better than other slaves, and they had special privileges.’ So I thought I was on the track to learn about a sort of chasm within slavery that wasn’t really ‘slavery’- you know, where you get to sit and play with a baby all day, one that wasn’t brutal, and wasn’t an instrument of abuse.
I was surprised, then, when most of the rest of my research contradicted this, and I was faced with an image that contradicted that- and then I got angry. I want to reach back through the decades and rectify it. But I cannot, and I am left wondering if there was something in the water. “They must have ‘drunk the Kool-Aid’” I think.
It’s simple, easy to dismiss it that way. To assume that it is because there is something wrong with people that racism exists today, and that there was deeply something ‘wrong’ with people who owned slaves, who regularly beat their slaves to keep them “accustomed to being whipped.” It’s not this easily dismissed from my mind though, and the dh has been truly frustrated with me for the energy I’ve put into thinking about this. After all, I have three projects and two more paper due this week, and I’m always late to my classes because the baby nurses and nurses and nurses, and I can’t just bring her to class. But if I put this down now, and step away from it, I won’t ever be able to completely understand it. I must push through the uncomfortable things I’ve read and read some more.
I am still angry, but I am going to continue reading. I didn’t reach any understanding that I could neatly put away and say “now I understand it,” and I will probably always be uncomfortable with it, but because I feel like it is important, not just for me as a person, but for me as a mother, and a daughter/wife/sister, to challenge the way I feel about this.
I’m probably still wrong, but I wanted to thank you for this project. I am fairly certain my research revealed the same old ideas, and you will be unimpressed. But know that this changed my understanding, and I'm sitting here thinking "you set me up for this!"- Thank you.
11/17/08
Woe is the dog
When Pappa Starbucks and I were just "us," we had plenty of time for, well, you know, doing things. Before I ever moved in with Pappa Starbucks, my dog Oreo did. I was in a dorm, and he was in this really great apartment, and Oreo was living outside at my brothers house, so. I sent him off to live here with Pappa Starbucks (then known as The Stud), and he needed SOOOO much attention. First of all, he was suddenly living INSIDE!! And on top of that, we battled worms, and fleas, and ticks, and leash behavior, and yet for some reason, he thought it was great.
This was a fairly nice apartment (that we obviously can't afford, NOW), with a pool, and two dog parks on the property. He went to the dog park for AT LEAST an hour every day. There was no car seat or stroller in the back of our car, and we bought treats weekly and fed him the best food. I even made his food, because, you know, he was my baby.
We went to Petsmart for fun.
The piles of laundry on the bed? Yes, we let him snuggle in them, because he got a bath every Thursday (despite the fact that he had a very nice comfy dog bed too).
But today, I am sitting here looking at a very different dog. We still love him, I think, but the treat jar hasn't been opened all week (just because I don't think to give him treats, not because I'm mean), and he has had TWO baths in as many months. Actually, I think that's still impressive.
As for exercise, though I know it is very important, well, it's also a pain to do right now. And so he gets very little of it. I've made him treats, believe it or not, since she was born. They were supposed to be cookies though, so that may not really count.
Because our car has a humongous and wonderful stroller, a diaper bag, a car seat, and well, US in it when we go somewhere, the dog park is just not worth hauling ourselves away to.
Three days before Little Berry was born, someone (I had never even met before) offered to come and take The Dog to the park after she was born, you know, with their dog too- and I thought I'm not letting you take off with my sweet puppy!! I don't even KNOW you!!
Well, I just dumped out the contents of my purse looking for their number. In the best possible way, of course.
11/15/08
How to add sleeves to a onesie or other small tyke's shirt (and make it look layered)
It’s beautiful weather in these parts. Saturday dawned clear and beautiful, we had expected rain and the skies were clear, which made me oh so happy. Cuppycake has all these precious onesies that she hasn’t outgrown yet, but that have no sleeves. Unfortunately, the weather is really too cool for her to be wearing short sleeve onesies, and putting a sweater on her to go to the car is a pain. Especially when it’s cool enough to wear a long-sleeve shirt and a hat but too warm for a sweater. So. Pappa Starbucks has been bugging me to go buy some onesies for her that have sleeves, just so we can put her in jeans and a onesie again, or snuggly leggings and a onesie- but oh no. I’m
It was really much much easier than I expected, although I really haven’t finished them all yet since our professors are in that phase where they assign six papers a week and 800 pages of reading per class period, so we’re struggling to keep our assignment level caught up enough that we can actually use the dinner table for, well, dinner.
Here’s how to put sleeves on a onesie, or other shirt. The sizes I added them to are 3-6 months, and although I don’t have measurements for other sizes, all you need to do is:
Measure the length of you child’s arm from where their current sleeve ends to their wrist. I used short sleeve onesies, and for 3-6 months, this length was 6 ½ inches long,and don't forget I used the seam at the bottom for the cuff and 5 1/2 inches wide .
The fabric I chose was some of my old (maternity) tee shirts in plain colors that I knew would correspond with her pant selection so that there wouldn’t be too much ‘funkyness’ in her closet. I've tried it with several fabrics, and old tee shirts are by far the softest, but you could use anything.
Next, pin your sleeve together, wrong side out, like I did, and sew along the top. This will be the bottom of the sleeve once you’re done. I sewed my sleeves twice, just because cuppycake LOVES to chew on them. And I didn’t want to have to regret putting them on there later. Once you’ve made a sleeve, turn it right side out, and then comes the hard part. I’m not a big pin user, but. These onesies are tiny, and if you don’t pin these sleeves to the onesie, then the chances are that
Yes, my camera stinks, and the flash is totally killing this photo. But. What you need to do is make sure that the seam of your sleeve is lined up with the seam of the smaller sleeve: both are on the bottom. You are going to pin, pin, pin like crazy because these guys ares so very small.
I always sew from the outside, and I either chose a thread that matches the onesie, or that contrasts with cuteness. I've done one black onesie with black sleeves and black thread and it was SO easy. On all the others, I've used white thread and very tiny stitches so it will hold well, and it has worked great.
This way, I can follow the seam that's already on the onesie sleeve: because I want it to look layered. If you want to make the sleeve look like a continuation, that's a whole different post.
And then, you sew. I sew from the outside of the onesie to make sure I am following the pre-existing seam. You can sew from the inside if you want. The nice thing about these onesies is that theY are forgiving! I've made a few mistakes, but in general, they just look all the cuter for it.
Have fun!!
11/12/08
Eat that yogurt!
I've considered myself to be selectively active in causes that matter to me. And cancer, not just breast cancer, has always scared the bejeesus out of me made me want to be involved. While I was pregnant with Cuppycake, I took a summer course here with a young lady I also went to high school with back when. She had been ill for a while, when they finally realized she had stage 2 liver cancer. She was 21, and she's still getting treated. It's grueling for me to see her going through this, and I admit I probably treat her a bit fragilely, but this post is both my reminder to you all to go get that mammogram, and to save those lids.
Now, I've always saved my yoplait lids.
BUT I have not. ever. sent. them. in.
I actually have an envelope full of them, that I thought I would save up and send from last November, but it turns out, they don't take old ones. I thought they were all the same, but a quick google search says I am WRONG. Basically, only the lids from this period are acceptable, and if they have large tears they won't count. Another very interesting thing I learned is that there are teams (((TEAMS!! YAY!))) for collecting these, and there's probably one in your area. My University actually sponsors a drop box for the lids, which actually makes me much more likely to take them in, because for some reason, eating yogurt is way more fun on campus. I know that many colleges, (as well as cancer hospitals, grocery stores, and dental offices) have one of these boxes.
And because my friend is going through chemotherapy treatments, I wanted to do something special for her as well, even though it's a different type of cancer. I made several of these "warms" to keep her cozy in those otherwise dreary hospital rooms.
Coming soon:my first tutorial, if blogger doesn't eat my photos!
Now, I've always saved my yoplait lids.
BUT I have not. ever. sent. them. in.
I actually have an envelope full of them, that I thought I would save up and send from last November, but it turns out, they don't take old ones. I thought they were all the same, but a quick google search says I am WRONG. Basically, only the lids from this period are acceptable, and if they have large tears they won't count. Another very interesting thing I learned is that there are teams (((TEAMS!! YAY!))) for collecting these, and there's probably one in your area. My University actually sponsors a drop box for the lids, which actually makes me much more likely to take them in, because for some reason, eating yogurt is way more fun on campus. I know that many colleges, (as well as cancer hospitals, grocery stores, and dental offices) have one of these boxes.
And because my friend is going through chemotherapy treatments, I wanted to do something special for her as well, even though it's a different type of cancer. I made several of these "warms" to keep her cozy in those otherwise dreary hospital rooms.
Coming soon:my first tutorial, if blogger doesn't eat my photos!
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